 Her legacy |
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WHAT I WROTE FOR MY CYNTHIA ON HER 8TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY
 LIFE WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER CYNTHIA
IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN
YOU CYNTHIA, EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL FOREVER
BE IN MY HEART, MY HEART BREAKS EVERY SINGLE
DAY KNOWING THAT YOU JUST DIDN’T LEAVE BECAUSE
YOU WANTED TO BUT BECAUSE YOU MET SOMEONE
THAT DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THE TERRIBLE THING HE
WAS ABOUT TO DO AND THAT WAS TO TAKE YOU AWAY
FROM ME AND YOUR FAMILY. I MISS YOU MORE THEN
WORDS CAN SAY, IT BROKE MY HEART TO LOSE YOU
CYNTHIA BUT YOU DID NOT GO ALONE FOR PART OF
ME WENT WITH YOU THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME.
SOMEDAY HE WILL CALL ME HOME ALSO CYNTHIA AND
THAT WILL BE THE MOST HAPPIEST DAY WHEN I CAN
SEE YOU ONCE AGAIN. YOU LEFT ME MUCH TO SOON,
I DIDN’T GET TO ENJOY YOUR WEDDING, YOUR CHILDREN
YOUR LOVE. EVEN AFTER 8 YRS MY LIFE IS STILL IN
SHAMBLES IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT IN MY HEART TO
HAVE LOST SUCH A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. YOU KNOW
YOU WERE THE SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE AND WHEN YOU
USE TO CALL ME “MOM” THAT WAS A JOY TO MY HEART.
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CYNTHIA,
DON’T THINK I HAVE GONE ON WITH MY LIFE BECAUSE
I HAVEN’T, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU
HAVE TO DO...YOU KNEW ME TOO WELL TO KNOW HOW I
REALLY AM CYNTHIA. I CAN STILL HEAR YOU SAY “MOM”
DON’T GO I DIDN’T GO FAR BUT NOW YOU HAVE GONE
REALLY FAR, BUT IT WILL NEVER BE FAR FROM ME. WHEN
GOD CALLED YOU HOME IN AWAY HE ALSO CALLED ME AND
EVEN THOUGH I’M STILL HERE ON THIS EARTH, MY
HEART IS TRULY IN HEAVEN WITH YOU. GOD KNOWS WHY
I’M STILL HERE, I CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT IN MY OWN MIND
BUT GOD NEVER MAKES MISTAKES. IN HIS TIME I WILL
GLADLY GO WITH HIM TO BE CLOSE TO YOU AND NOW
MOM, HOPE YOU STAY CLOSE TO GRANDMA CYNTHIA, I
MISS HER SO MUCH ALSO, WHEN I FEEL SO ALONE I JUST
WANT TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL MOM JUST HOW
MUCH I’M HURTING BUT INSTEAD I PRAY TO GOD THAT
HE WILL HELP ME THROUGH ALL OF THIS PAIN THAT
I’M GOING THROUGH. JUSTICE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH
FOR THE ONE WHO TOOK YOU FROM THIS WORLD AND
FROM MY HEART. HE WILL SOMEDAY GO BEFORE THE
LORD AND TELL HIM WHY HE TOOK YOU FROM US, UNTIL
THEN I WILL JUST KEEP GOING ONE DAY AT A TIME AND
LIVE LIKE IT IS MY LAST DAY. WITH MY LOVE FOR YOU
CYNTHIA A LOVE THAT WILL NEVER END. SEE YOU
AT THE CROSSROADS ONE DAY.
YOUR MOM FOREVER UNTIL I SEE YOU!!
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MY BABYGIRL CYNTHIA
My life has changed forever and will never be the same
I retired from my job because I couldn't function anymore,
I went back to my job after 19 months off on disability and
lasted working for 4 more yrs because I needed to work, I
still have my other daughter Samantha and a son Phillip.
It was so hard to stay working. I will never go through that
type of pain I did as long as I live. When my daughter died
I don't even know how I have made it this long without her.
She was my youngest, and she was my life. The guy who
murdered her was just someone she had met and was only
going with him for such a short time. I have all of her shoes,
personal things that I will never get rid of or give to anyone,
except maybe her sister. He receive a sentence of 19 to life,
not enough for someone who destroyed my daughter’s life
and my life. Even at work people were not very senstive to
someone who lost a child unless they have gone through
the same type of loss. What I have learned is that people
are not the way I thought they would be when someone child
is murdered, they are not senstive and caring. I took my
children to church when they were younger and taught them
to be polite and caring to other's. They were never rude to
anyone, after my daughter was murdered, I thought why did
I teach her to be so kind, maybe that's what got her
murdered..and yes she did know the Lord. They were
brought up loving and living for Jesus. My health isn't as
strong as it use to be, I can tell I don't have the same kind
of life that I had before Cynthia was murdered. I don't know
what it feels to live a normal life, because I never will again.
I feel like I just exsit and go into slow motion everyday. I will
never be happy without her. This is just a little of what I want
to share right now. She was a good girl, she was murdered
at 20 would have been 21 just a month later...she was so
excited to be turning 21, she was going to go to Las Vegas
with friends and she never went...She never went anywhere
else but to heaven where God wanted her to be…Thank you
and God bless you…R.I.P. Cynthia’s Mom LaRaine…
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BEAUTIFUL POEM FOR CYNTHIA
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone, must stay that way,
I found peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy!
A love shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes! These things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savoured much
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, he set me free
Anonymous
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POEM - MY CHILD
MY CHILD
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious one
unknown
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"HE ONLY TOOK MY HAND" POEM
He Only Took My Hand / Mom
Last night while I was sleeping, my daughter's voice I did hear
I opened my eyes and looked in her room
But Cynthia didn't appear
She said:
"Mom you've got to listen,you've got to understand
God didn't take me from you, he only took my hand
When I called out in pain that night, he instantly reached down,
took my hand and pulled me gently to his side,
lifted me up and saved me from all the misery and pain inside.
My body hurt so badly, I could never be the same
My search is really over now
I've found happiness within, all the answers to my empty
dreams and all that might have been
I love and miss you soooo very much, I'll always be near by
My body's gone forever
But my spirit will never die
So you must go on now and live one day at a time
Until we meet again
Just understand:
God didn't take me from you, he only took my hand!!!!
Unknown
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~~FROM A FRIEND~~
*A loved one that has finished their life on earth is not dead, there life has just began. They are still with us in spirt. That you must believe.*
*Dont tell me that you understand. Dont tell me that you know. Dont tell me that I will survive, How I will surely grow.*
*you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me sit and wonder why.*
*I've cried a thousand tears for you, Felt a thousand pains. Screamed a thousand words for you, Died a thousand days.*
*Memory can tell us only what we were, In company with those we loved; It cannot help us find out what each of us, Alone, must now become*
*I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, " He said. "For you to love the while she lives and mourn when she is dead, "It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, "But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?*
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WILL MISS YOU UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE
Cynthia enjoyed life she loved to celebrate everyday. Being around her taught people how to have fun, let loose and relax and enjoy just being together. She leaves behind many heart warming memories of her kindness and just being herself . If you knew Cynthia well, you would have known how happy and caring she really was, of course she had her problems like everyone else but Cynthia never brought anyone's mood down, in fact she tried to act like nothing was ever wrong. Cynthia was a girl people always wanted to surrond themselves with. Cynthia could relate to people of all diffrent walks of life, was non-judgmental and sincere when she spoke. "Live like it was your last" is what Cynthia always said. It makes a lot of sense enjoy what you have. Cynthia you helped a lot of people enjoy many days to the fullest. Your love of life and awesome spirit will be remember by all who knew you. You are greatly missed by alot of people especially your Mom and your sister Samantha, who will never get over losing you especially to Murder. Will miss you forever, until I see you in heaven. Love you forever....Mom
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TODAY WAS A VERY DIFFICULT DAY FOR ME
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