This memorial website was created in The Memory of my beautiful Daughter Cynthia Tammy Hernandez who was Born in California on July 29, 1978 and Murdered on June 11, 1999 at the age of 20. She will forever be in our hearts
Precious Daughter
I Wish I Could See You One More Time Come Walking Through My Door But, I Know That Is Impossible I Will Hear Your Voice No More I Know You Can Feel My Tears And You Don’t Want Me To Cry Yet, My Heart Is Broken Because I Can’t Understand Why Someone So Precious Had To Die I Pray That God Will Give Me Strength And Somehow Get Me Through As I Struggle With This Heartache That Was Caused By Losing You Who Walked Through Heaven's Gate on June 11, 1999
Your resting place I visit Place flowers there with care But no one knows the heartache When I turn and leave you there A million times I've needed you A million times I've cried If love could have saved you You never would have died It broke my heart to lose you But you did not go alone For part of me went with you The day God called you home.
Perhaps they are not Stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy
Whispers from Heaven
When I left this world without you I know it made you blue Your tears fell so freely, I watched; I know it is true. While you were weeping, Days after I passed While all was silent within me, I saw you kneel to pray. From this wonderful place called Heaven Where all my pain is gone. I send a gentle breeze to whisper, "My loved ones, please go on" The peace that I have found here Goes far beyond compare No rain, no clouds, no suffering- Just LOVE from everywhere. You need not be troubled Just stay close to GOD in prayer Someday we'll be reunited My love, HIS love surrounds you always, EVERYWHERE!
Your resting place I visit Place flowers there with care But no one knows the heartache When I turn and leave you there A million times I've needed you A million times I've cried If love could have saved you You never would have died It broke my heart to lose you But you did not go alone For part of me went with you The day God called you home.
Memories
If we could have a lifetime with A dream that would come true, We'd pray to God with all our hearts For yesterday and You. A thousand words can't bring you back We know because we've tried.... Neither will a thousand tears We know because we've cried.... You left behind our broken hearts And happy memories too.... But we never wanted memories We only wanted You. ~author unknown
GOD ONLY TOOK MY HAND
Last night while I was trying to sleep, My daughter’s voice I did hear. I opened my eyes and looked around But she did not appear.
She said, "Mom you've got to listen, You've got to understand, God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that day, The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same.
My search is really over now, I've found happiness within. All the answers to my dreams, And all that might have been.
I love you so and miss you, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die!
And so, you must go on now, Live one day at a time. Just understand - God did not take me from you, He only took my hand.
Our children are like the butterflies, who lands beside us for just a brief moment, It's beauty and glory are ours and then.... It flies on. And though we wish they could have stayed with us a little longer, We feel so lucky to have had them with us, even though it was only for a short time.
Silent thoughts tears unseen...wishing your absence was just a dream
GOD ONLY TOOK MY HAND
Last night while I was trying to sleep, My daughter’s voice I did hear. I opened my eyes and looked around But she did not appear.
She said, "Mom you've got to listen, You've got to understand, God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that day, The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same.
My search is really over now, I've found happiness within. All the answers to my dreams, And all that might have been.
I love you so and miss you, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die!
And so, you must go on now, Live one day at a time. Just understand - God did not take me from you, He only took my hand.
Each morning when I awake I know that you are gone. And no one knows the heartache as I try to carry on, my heart aches with sadness & secret tears flow. What it meant to lose you no one will ever know. My thoughts are always with you, you're place no one can fill. In life I loved you dearly, in death I'll love you forever.
"A heart of gold stopped beating, two shining eyes at rest. God broke our hearts to prove, He only takes the best."
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. Isaiah 57:1-2
Please don’t feel guilty It was just my time to go. I see you are still feeling sad, And the tears just seem to flow. We all come to earth for our lifetime, And for some it’s not many years I don’t want you to keep crying You are shedding so many tears. I haven’t really left you Even though it may seem so. I have just gone to my heavenly home, And I’m closer to you than you know. Just believe that when you say my name I’m standing next to you, I know you long to see me, But there’s nothing I can do. But I’ll still send you messages And hope you understand, That when your time comes to “cross over,” I’ll be there to take your hand.
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There’s a special angel in heaven That is a part of me. It is not where we wanted her right now, But where God wanted her to be. She was here just a moment, Like a night-time shooting star. And though she is in heaven, She isn’t very far. She touched the hearts of many, Like only an angel can do. We would have held her every minute, If the end we only knew. So we send this special message, To heaven up above. Please take care of our angel, And send her all our love.
CYNTHIA
IT IS SAD TO WALK THE ROAD ALONE, INSTEAD OF SIDE BY SIDE. BUT TO ALL, THERE COMES A MOMENT WHEN THE WAYS OF LIFE DIVIDE, YOU GAVE US YEARS OF HAPPINESS THEN CAME SORROW AND TEARS BUT, YOU LEFT US BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES WE WILL TREASURE, THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.
To the living, I am gone To the sorrowful, I will never return. To the angry, I was cheated. To the happy, I am at peace. To the faithful, I have never left. I cannot speak, but I can listen. I cannot be seen but I can be heard. So as you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty, Remember me. Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories. Of the times we cried, the times we fought, and the times we laughed. For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.
If You Could See Me Now
If you could see me now you wouldn't shed a tear. Though you may not understand why I'm no longer there. Remember my spirit that is the real me because I'm still very much alive I've just been set free, Oh, if you could only see! I have beheld our Father's face and I have touched my Saviour's hand. All of Heaven's angels rejoiced as I entered the promised land. Beyond the gates of pearl I've walked on the golden streets. I've touched the walls of jasper and dipped my foot in the crystal sea. The beauty is beyond words and nothing could compare, I've seen your mansion and someday I'll meet you there. Let Jesus be your guide because his word will show you the way! So please don't cry because we will meet again someday.
"NOW IN GODS HANDS, FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS"
WORDS OF AN ANGEL May the angels keep you till morning May they guide you through the night May they comfort all your sorrows May they help you win the fight May they keep watch on your soul May they show you better ways May they guard you while you're sleeping May they see you through your days May they show you new hopes May they still your every doubt May they calm your every fear May they hear you when you shout May the angels keep you til morning More than this I cannot pray And if the angels ever fail you Then may God be there that day
~Author Unknown~
Words left Unsaid
Words left Unsaid I didn't get to say "goodbye", And all the words I wanted you to hear. I should have said them when I had my chance, But I thought that you would always be near. I ran out of time to let you know, Just how much you meant to me. I should have told you, but I thought you knew, But now I will never know, if you really did see. When l talk to you in my prayers at night, I hope you can hear all I have to say. I would have told you, if only I could, Have had you back for one more day. Perhaps there were words you wanted to say also, That were left unsaid by you. But I do know that you loved me, As you knew that I loved you too. We should always say what we feel in our heart, As tomorrow may never come. Speak those words today as you feel them, And never lose your chance to tell someone
In deepest sleep one night I dreamed that on the beach I walked. God was by my side each step and quietly we talked. Then on the sky my life was flashed; the visions all serene. Two sets of footprints in the sand were there in every scene. But then I noticed in some scenes of suffering, pain and strife...Just a single set of footprints at the worst times of my life. "God...You said you'd stay by me in good times and in bad...Why then did you leave me each time my life was sad?" "My precious child,"God answered, "when your life had pain, I knew. The single set of footprints were the times I carried you"
We did not know that morning What sorrow the day would bring, The bitter grief and shock severe To part with one we loved so dear.
You bid no one a last farewell No chance to say good-bye, You were gone before we knew it Only God knows why.
It broke our hearts to lose you but you did not go alone, For part of us went with you The day God called you home.
Though your smile is gone forever And your hands we cannot touch, We will never lose the memory Of the one we loved so very much. Forever loved and remembered
The Moment that you died Our hearts split in two The one side filled with memories The other died with you.
We often lay awake at night When the world is fast asleep And take a walk down memory lane With tears upon our cheeks
Remembering you is easy We do it everyday But missing you is heartache That never goes away
We hold you tightly within our heart And there you will remain Life has gone on without you But it never will be the same
For those who still have their son or daughter Treat them with tender care Tell them you love them everyday You will never know the emptiness As when you turn and they are not there.
Love you always, CYNTHIA
A thousand words can't bring you back I know because I've tried. And neither will a million tears I know because I've cried. You left behind my broken heart, and happy memories too. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. I wish this wish, as I wish it to come true.
God made you my daughter Love made you my friend
No matter how much Faith we have, we lose people. But we never forget them. And sometimes its those memories that give us the strength to go on....
SAFELY HOME
I am home in Heaven, dear ones; Oh, so happy and so bright! There is perfect joy and beauty In this everlasting light.
All the pain and grief is over, Every restless tossing passed; I an now at peace forever, Safely home in Heaven at last.
Did you wonder I so calmly Trod the valley of the shade? Oh! But Jesus love illumined Every dark and fearful glade.
And He came Himself to meet me In that way so hard to tread; And with Jesus arm to lean on, Could I have one doubt or dread?
Then you must not grieve so sorely, For I love you dearly still: Try to look beyond earths shadows, Pray to trust our Fathers Will.
There is work still waiting for you, So you must not idly stand; Do it now, while life remaineth You shall rest in Jesus land.
When that work is all completed, He will gently call you Home; Oh, the rapture of that meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come!
Some things I'd like to say but first of all to let you know that I arrived okay I'm writing this from Heaven where I dwell with God above where there's no more tears or sadness there is just eternal love Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night That day I had to leave you when my life on Earth was through God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you" "It's good to have you back again you were missed while you were gone as for your dearest family they'll be here later on" "I need you here so badly as part of My big plan there's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man" Then God gave me a list of things He wished for me to do and foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you And I will be beside you every day and week and year and when you're sad I'm standing there to wipe away the tear
Your time here was shorter Than we'd wanted it to be, And every moment you've been gone, There's emptiness in me. We thought we'd have a lifetime That we could share with you. We hoped & wished for many things That now will not come true. But no matter what may come our way We'll always have one wish: To tell you, now & evermore How much you're loved & missed Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love,The things you are, The things you never want to lose!"
We walked together, you and I A Mother and her Daughter We had Hopes and Dreams for tomorrow.....But tomorrow didn't come. We walked together you and I We talked, we laughed we loved. We shared so many happy times, And for that I thank the Lord above. We walked together, you and I But only for a short time. For all too soon it ended Leaving pieces of a broken heart behind And even though I miss you More than words could ever say. I thank God that I got to walk with you Every precious moment of every day....
remember you're not going you are coming here to me And I will always love you from that land way up above Will be in touch again soon
With all of my love & appreciation to all the wonderful & precious ladies and friends who make all the beautiful graphics displayed on Cynthia’s site. With much gratitude and love to all, love & hugs always Cynthia’s Mom LaRaine
I didn't have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you. I didn't need to hear your cry to know you loved me too. I didn't need to hold your hand to cherish you for always. Within my womb, we shared our hearts. You touched my soul. You gave me memories I'll always hold dear. Yes, my heartaches since you departed too soon. But a mother's love does not end with death. For you are my child. Forever my love is yours. R.I.P. My baby Girl Love your Mom
A loved one that has finished their life on earth is not dead, there life has just began. They are still with us in spirit. That you must believe. *Dont tell me that you understand. Dont tell me that you know. Dont tell me that I will survive, How I will surely grow. you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me sit and wonder why. I've cried a thousand tears for you, Felt a thousand pains. Screamed a thousand words for you, Died a thousand days. Memory can tell us only what we were, In company with those we loved; It cannot help us find out what each of us, Alone, must now become I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said. "For you to love the while she lives and mourn when she is dead, "It may be six or seven years, or twenty, "But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?*
They say there is a reason They say that time will heal, But neither time nor reason, Will change the way we feel, For no-one knows the heartache, That lies behind our smiles, No-one knows how many times, We have broken down and cried, We want to tell you something, So there won't be any doubt, You're so wonderful to think of, But so hard to be without
On the day God took you I thought that I would die I wondered where the time went? I asked alot of whys? With people all around me I felt alone inside From all their words of comfort, I couldn't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming That I'd wake and find you here, I thought "This can't be happening." As I wiped another tear. On the day that you were laid to rest My heart broke yet again, I wondered if the pain would end, But mostly, I wondered when? It's hard to be without you, At times the days seem long, Sometimes I just sit crying, When there's really nothing wrong. I wish we'd had more time, Before your life was done. I hope your resting peacefully, My precious child. THE CORD We are connected, my child and I, By an invisible cord Not seen by the eye. It's not like the cord That connected us til birth. This cord can't be seen by anyone on earth. This cord does its work right from the start. It bonds us together. Attached at the heart. I know that it's there. Though no one can see The invisible cord from my child to me. The strength of this cord, It's hard to describe, It can't be destroyed. It can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord man could create, It with stands the test, Can hold any weight. And though you are gone, Though you're not here with me, The cord is still there, But no one can see. It pulls at my heart. I am bruised... I am sore. But this cord is my lifeline as never before. I am thankful that God connects us this way. A mother and child. Death can't take it away ~~ author unknown~~
Don't think of her as gone away Her journey has just begun Life holds so many facets, this earth is only one. Just think of her as resting, from the sorrow and the tears. In a place of warmth and comfort, where there are no days and years. Think how she must be wishing that we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away. And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched for nothing loved is ever lost & she is loved So Much...
Too Young To Die So little you asked for, so much you gave So many things, you never got to have So many moments, we never got to share Too young to die, it’s just not fair Still so devastated, and angry too Some days I just cry, that’s all I do Why did this happen, I still ask why I’ll never understand, although I’ve tried Even if your spirit, is here, as they say It still doesn't take, the heartache away
How does a Mother continue without her child? She doesn't—She may eat and she may sleep, She may breathe and even speak, But she'll never be the same again!
Somewhere in my dreams I'll see you standing there. You look at me with a smile. "Life isn't always fair" While there's a heart in me You'll be a part of me.....
My Beautiful Daughter... Always so beautiful, Always so amazing, My beautiful daughter, Forever in my heart!
A brief moment of darkness was all That I knew, before Heaven's Gate came into my view. Loved ones and friends I had missed for many years, welcomed me with open arms and many happy tears. All the hurt, fear and pain that I have ever known, is gone from my life, I am finally home. I gazed upon the Lord's sweet smiling face, and for the first time in my life I knew and felt His grace. I know that you miss me, but please dry your eyes. I will always be watching and Loving
I Still Feel Your Love
"Time doesn't heal, it just makes it more real!" Softly the leaves of memories fall, Gently we gather and treasure them all, So dearly loved...So sadly missed!
Forever In My Heart! A daughter is a wonderful blessing, A treasure from above, She's laughter, warmth and special charm, She's thoughfulness and love A daughter brings a special joy, That comes from deep inside, And as she grows to adulthood, She fills your heart with pride With every year that passes, She's more special than before, Through every stage, through every age You love her even more No words can describe, what it felt like to bury you This was never meant to happen—Still can't believe it's true My Precious Daughter Forever in my heart
If Roses grow in Heaven
If Roses grow in Heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me, Place them in my Daughter's arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her I love her and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile. Because remembering her is easy, I do it every day, but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away.
I know you’re gone from this earth You left me way too soon But I feel your love every time I gaze up at the moon. Sometimes I think I hear A whisper in the wind It sounds as if you’ve called my name As your love to me you send. Sometimes I do a silly thing And your laughter fills my ears I know you’re right here with me But I can’t see you through my tears. I felt your hand upon my shoulder And I quickly turned to see Visible... you were not But I know you’re here with me. In the night you sometime come To visit in my dreams My hands go out to touch you But you’re just out of reach it seems. For just a flash you appear Standing close to me Is it just my imagination Or is it really you I see. Even though you’re gone from me And you watch me from above I long for you everyday…And I still feel your love. Written by an Unknown Author
Wherever you are tonight Cynthia I'll see you in my dreams Wherever I go tomorrow You'll be here next to me And though we are a world apart I know you'll never be that far 'Cause here in my heart There's a picture of us Together forever Unfaded and unbroken Wherever you are Your love covers me Forever more you'll be Here in my heart.
Here In My Heart"
You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the loved you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she's gone or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back or you can do what she'd want smile, open your eyes, love and go on
Here In My Heart
Wherever you are tonight girl I'll see you in my dreams Wherever I go tomorrow You'll be here next to me And though we are a world apart I know you'll never be that far 'Cause here in my heart There's a picture of us Together forever Unfaded and unbroken Wherever you are Your love covers me Forever more you'll be Here in my heart.
A Message to my Daughter We walked together, you and I A Mother and her Daughter We had Hopes and Dreams for tomorrow..... But tomorrow didn't come. We walked together you and I We talked, we laughed we loved. We shared so many happy times, And for that I thank the Lord above. We walked together, you and I But only for a short time. For all too soon it ended Leaving pieces of a broken heart behind And even though I miss you More than words could ever say. I thank God that I got to walk with you Every precious moment of every day.... love, Mommy
No Goodbyes I am standing right beside you And I wonder why you cry, I see such pain and sorrow I see the hurt that's in your eyes. Do not wish me back for one last kiss Please don't wait for me to wake, Just know how much I love you I wish no longer your heart to ache. You need not ever let go of me Your friend forever I will be, I'll be always by your side The tough times together we'll see. So to my friends I bid you An oh so great farewell, Time stands still but for no one Go and live your lives and tell. Tell all those that you meet The old friends and those new, Although you lost a friend today You'll get chance to see him soon. The world knows that I've gone today But do not mourn for me, I am happy here just watching All the world I can now see. To my family sitting here And those so far away, How proud I am of all you do In each and every way. I will watch you as you sleep tonight Be with you all the days, I’ll be there through the good and bad My love shall never fade. Live your life without regrets And be happy everyday, For knowing you has made my life So special in every way. My time has come to go now But this is no goodbye, If you ever need to talk to me I am always by your side.
Until We Meet Again
Each morning when we awake we know that you are gone. And no one knows the heartache As we try to carry on. Our hearts still ache with sadness and many tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, No one will ever know. Our thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill. In life we loved you dearly, In death we love you still. There will always be a heartache, and often a silent tear, But always a precious memory Of the days when you were here. If tears could make a staircase, And heartaches make a lane, We'd walk the path to heaven And bring you home again. We hold you close within our hearts...And There you will remain, To walk with us throughout our lives...Until we meet again. Our family chain is broken now, And nothing will be the same, But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again.
Today your life on earth is past but here life starts anew. I promise no tomorrow but today will always last, And since each day’s the same way there’s no longing for the past. You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free. So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me? So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart, For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.
MY CYNTHIA AS A PRECIOUS BABY
CYNTHIA WAS SHOT AND MURDERED ON JUNE 11, 1999
This ribbon represents a murdered child. Parents Of Murdered Children (P.O.M.C.) is an organization for the support of families and friends who are bereaved by the murder of a loved one.
Mom, please don’t feel guilty
It was just my time to go. I see you are still feeling sad, And the tears just seem to flow. We all come to earth for our lifetime, And for some it’s not many years I don’t want you to keep crying You are shedding so many tears. I haven’t I really left you Even though it may seem so. I have just gone to my heavenly home, And I’m closer to you than you know. Just believe that when you say my name I’m standing next to you, I know you long to see me, But there’s nothing I can do. But I’ll still send you messages And hope you understand, That when your time comes to “cross over,” I’ll be there to take your hand.
~MISSING YOU CYNTHIA~
Time has not eased my pain, it feels so lonely without you. Whoever sasid that time Will make it a little easier has not lost a child. It has been almost 8 yrs and it feels like A lifetime. I remember when you once went with your girlfriend Vanessa to Mexico For only two day, I missed you so much that I went to the store to buy you a Welcome back card. I was standing their while looking at the cards and felt a tap on my shoulder so I turned around and it was you. I was so happy to see you that we just hugged so tight because I know that you missed me as much as I missed you. You always had that certain smile that made me feel happy nside. You were and are still a big part of my life, you will never be forgotten by me, sister Samantha or brother Phillip. We miss you every single day. When you were murdered they took a big part of my Heart, now I feel so all alone because you use to always make me laugh and make me happy and also because of the funny things you did. Why this person shot you I will never understand, not in this lifetime anyway. What was he thinking when he shot you!!! I often wonder why he did it in the first place, my days are always filled with sorrow. I’m just so upset with how life turned out for you, always so happy to just be living Your life and it was just taken. What can I say but you left behind a brokenhearted Mother who will never feel like I use to when you were here. You’re my Little Angel Cynthia and I know your always around me..Just like you always were when you were here with me...missing you so much and you will forever be in my heart.... Love forever Your Mom LaRaine.....
IF ROSES GROW IN HEAVEN
If Roses grow in Heaven Lord please pick a bunch for me, Place them in my Daughter's arms and tell her they're from me Tell her I love her and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile. Because remembering her is easy, I do it every day, but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away.
Unknown Author
Beautiful God's Angel You Are In Heaven With the Living God Rest In Peace dear Heart
A Face In The Clouds
I looked towards the clouds today and for a moment saw your face And wondered just where you have gone With a hope it's a better place Did you show yourself to me today To tell me you’re alright? Or was it just a daydream Playing tricks upon my sight? Then I thought of when you left You did not say a word We never said "goodbye", but in our hearts, your goodbye was heard You have changed our lives forever Your time here not in vain And hope you know we always wanted to Keep you safe from pain We will always feel the void inside Because you are not here But each new thought you send our way Let's us know you're always near So until our journey nears it's end And we hear the angels sing We'll face each new day as it comes And live off the love you bring ~Author Unknown~
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, The things you are, The things you never want to lose!"
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
A brief moment of darkness was all that I know before Heaven's Gate came in to view Loved ones and friends, I had missed for years welcomed me Home with open arms and many happy tears All the Hurt, Fear, and Pain that I have ever Known is gone from my life I am finally Home I gazed upon the Lord's sweet smiling face, and for the first time in my life all that I felt was grace. I know that you miss me, but please dry your eyes. I will always be watching and Loving You from my Home in the sky A cool breeze on your face, a touch of light rain, I will send as a reminder that we will be reunited again. Life on earth is but one brief moment in time I am finally Home and Eternity is mine. Author Unknown
There is a special Angel in Heaven that is a part of me. It is not where I wanted her but where God wanted her to be. She was here but just a moment like a night time shooting star. And though she is in Heaven she isn't very far. She touched the heart of many like only an Angel can do. I would've held her every minute if the end I only knew. So I send this special message to the Heavens up above. Please take care of my Angel and send her all my love
"Here In My Heart"
Wherever you are tonight Cynthia I'll see you in my dreams Wherever I go tomorrow You'll be here next to me And though we are a world apart I know you'll never be that far Cause here in my heart There's a picture of us Together forever Unfaded and unbroken Wherever you are Your love covers me Forever more you'll be Here in my heart.
To the living, I am gone
To the sorrowful, I will never return, To the angry, I was cheated, but to the happy I am at peace. And to the faithful i have never left. I can not speak but I can listen, I can not be seen but I can be heard, So as you stand upon the shore Gazing at the sea Remember me. As you look at all the trees. Remember me. Remember me in your hearts, In your thoughts And the memories of all the times we loved. The times we cried. And the times we laughed. for if you always think of me , i will never have gone.
Author unknown.
TO MY SPECIAL DAUGHTER CYNTHIA
IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU CYNTHIA, EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART, MY HEART BREAKS EVERY SINGLE DAY KNOWING THAT YOU JUST DIDN’T LEAVE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BUT BECAUSE YOU MET SOMEONE THAT DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THE TERRIBLE THING HE WAS ABOUT TO DO AND THAT WAS TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AND YOUR FAMILY. I MISS YOU MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY, IT BROKE MY HEART TO LOSE YOU CYNTHIA BUT YOU DID NOT GO ALONE FOR PART OF ME WENT WITH YOU THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME. SOMEDAY HE WILL CALL ME HOME ALSO CYNTHIA AND THAT WILL BE THE MOST HAPPIEST DAY WHEN I CAN SEE YOU ONCE AGAIN. YOU LEFT ME MUCH TO SOON, I DIDN’T GET TO ENJOY YOUR WEDDING, YOUR CHILDREN YOUR LOVE. EVEN AFTER 8 YRS MY LIFE IS STILL IN SHAMBLES IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT IN MY HEART TO HAVE LOST SUCH A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. YOU KNOW YOU WERE THE SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE AND WHEN YOU USE TO CALL ME “MOM” THAT WAS A JOY TO MY HEART. I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CYNTHIA, DON’T THINK I HAVE GONE ON WITH MY LIFE BECAUSE I HAVEN’T, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...YOU KNEW ME TOO WELL TO KNOW HOW I REALLY AM CYNTHIA. I CAN STILL HEAR YOU SAY “MOM” DON’T GO I DIDN’T GO FAR BUT NOW YOU HAVE GONE REALLY FAR, BUT IT WILL NEVER BE FAR FROM ME. WHEN GOD CALLED YOU HOME IN AWAY HE ALSO CALLED ME AND EVEN THOUGH I’M STILL HERE ON THIS EARTH, MY HEART IS TRULY IN HEAVEN WITH YOU. GOD KNOWS WHY I’M STILL HERE, I CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT IN MY OWN MIND BUT GOD NEVER MAKES MISTAKES. IN HIS TIME I WILL GLADLY GO WITH HIM TO BE CLOSE TO YOU AND NOW MOM, HOPE YOU STAY CLOSE TO GRANDMA CYNTHIA, I MISS HER SO MUCH ALSO, WHEN I FEEL SO ALONE I JUST WANT TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL MOM JUST HOW MUCH I’M HURTING BUT INSTEAD I PRAY TO GOD THAT HE WILL HELP ME THROUGH ALL OF THIS PAIN THAT I’M GOING THROUGH. JUSTICE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE ONE WHO TOOK YOU FROM THIS WORLD AND FROM MY HEART. HE WILL SOMEDAY GO BEFORE THE LORD AND TELL HIM WHY HE TOOK YOU FROM US, UNTIL THEN I WILL JUST KEEP GOING ONE DAY AT A TIME AND LIVE LIKE IT IS MY LAST DAY. WITH MY LOVE FOR YOU CYNTHIA A LOVE THAT WILL NEVER END. SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS ONE DAY.
YOUR MOM FOREVER UNTIL I SEE YOU!!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference" ~by Reinhold Niebuhr~
IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME....
If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today, While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say. I know how much you love me…as much as I love you, And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, And said my place was ready in heaven far above, And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love. But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die. I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday just even for a while, I’d say good-bye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized that this could never be, For emptiness and memories would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly thing I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven’s gates I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled & at me from His great golden throne, He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you..Today your life on earth is past but here life starts anew. I promise no tomorrow but today will always last, And since each day’s the same way there’s no longing for the past. You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free. So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me? “ So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart, For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.... "
Thank you very much for visiting Cynthia’s Memorial web site. It has helped our hearts so much to be able to do this for Cynthia. She was such a special young lady and loved being with people. She enjoyed life and being able to give to other’s what she could but most of all she gave everyone Love. Please take a moment and lite Cynthia a memorial candle or feel free to leave a tribute. With my deepest love and a grateful heart for all who come and visit Cynthia's site. It broke my heart to lose her but she did not go alone, she took a part of my heart the day God called her home.
The Serenity Prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference" ~by Reinhold Niebuhr~
A Kiss
If roses grow in Heaven, Lord pick a bunch from me. Place them in Cynthia's arms, and tell her their from me.
Tell her that I love her and I miss her. And when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek, and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday. But there's an ache inside my heart, That will never go away.
AS YOU HOLD ME CLOSE IN MEMORY, ALTHOUGH WE ARE APART, MY SPIRIT WILL LIVE ON,THERE WITHIN YOUR HEART... I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.
I Miss You So Though you are not here wherever I go or whatever I do I see your face in my mind and I miss you so I miss telling you everything I miss showing you things I miss your eyes. I don't like missing you It is a very cold and lonely feeling I wish I could see you right now But since I can't, I will have to be content just dreaming about when we'll be together again....
Until We Meet Again Each morning when we awake we know that you are gone. And no one knows the heartache As we try to carry on. Our hearts still ache with sadness and many tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, No one will ever know. Our thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill. In life we loved you dearly, In death we love you still. There will always be a heartache, and often a silent tear, But always a precious memory Of the days when you were here. If tears could make a staircase, And heartaches make a lane, We'd walk the path to heaven And bring you home again. We hold you close within our hearts... And there you will remain, To walk with us throughout our lives...Until we meet again. Our family chain is broken now, And nothing will be the same, But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again.
I thought of you with love today but That is nothing new I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake, with Which I'll never part God has you in His Keeping; I have you in my heart.
Only The Best
A heart of gold stopped beating two shining eyes at rest God broke our hearts to prove He only takes the best.
God knows you had to leave us But you did not go alone For part of us went with you The day he took you home.
To some you are forgotten to others just part of the past but to us who loved and lost you the memory will always last
Anonymous
Light a Candle
Light a candle for those we mourn. Into a new life they will be born. Do not look for them at the gravesite. They are somewhere else radiating their beautiful light. They have gone to a new world where there is no darkness, no pain. Their light and essence will always remain. Light a candle for those who have left this mortal place. They are free to travel through time and space. When we think of them, they are near. When we sit in a beautiful garden. Their voices we hear. When we listen to a divine symphony, We close our eyes, their faces we see. Light a candle for they have not really gone. With each flickering flame, in your hearts they will always belong.
Don't say goodbye I will see you later
When I am gone release me let me go I have many things to see and do You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears Be happy that we had many years I gave you my love you can only guess How much you gave to me in happiness I thank you for the love you each have shown But now its time I travel alone So grieve a while for me in grieve you must Then let your grief be comforted by trust Its only for a while that we must part So bless the memories within your heart I won't be far away for life goes on So if you need me call and I will come Though you can't see or touch me I'll be near And if you listen with your heart you'll hear All my love around you soft and clear And then when you must come this way alone I'll greet you with a smile and welcome home. -anonymous
Don’t be sad, you are so loved by God that he sent you this gift to show you how much he loves you" and although this gift was for a little while you all know who is waiting in heaven for you.
This written for a vigil for Murdered Children. I wrote this on June 30, 2001.... In memory of my Daughter Cynthia Tammy Hernandez Who was murdered on June 11, 1999. Love you Forever Babygirl! We are here in Memory of our loved ones who were murdered, they left us much to soon and when you lose your love one to murder, our grief does not stop in one or two years it's with us forever in our hearts and in our day to day lives. We go on because we feel that is what our love one would want us to do, but our lives are filled with an emptyness that can never be filled, after we lose our love one to Murder. For myself it was the loss of my daughter Cynthia who was murdered on June 11, 1999, shot by someone who did not respect life or himself. the fear of God was not in his heart. Because when you know God, truly know God he helps you to Love and care for people not destroy. I miss my daugher, I miss her smile and laughter, my home is now quite because someone decided to pull the trigger of a gun and destroy the life of my daughter Cynthia. She didn't deserve to be murdered like that, No child should be killed by the hands of another. Now all I can think of is Cynthia and I ask myself why? When someone murders he does not realize the deep impact he puts on the love ones who are effected by the loss of the person they decide to murder. My heart broke the day Cynthia was murdered, and it doesn't end their. It is just the beginning of the Journey of Grief. That is what happens when someone decides to pull the trigger of a gun. I just want to leave you with Love those who are still here with you, take care of the, be aware of who their friends are. Kids favorite line is "Don't worry Mom" I know that was my daughter's Cynthia's favorite line. But that's what Mother's are suppose to do, worry because you don't know what's going to happen to your love one, onece they walk out that door. My daughter's last words to me were "Mom Don't Worry" and then she was shot that night.
LOVE SONG The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you really are my friend please, don't keep me from hearing the beautiful music. It soothes my broken heart and fills my soul with love. "author unknown"
Don't think of her as gone away Her Journeys just begun, life holds so many facets, this earth is only one. Just think of her as resting from the sorrows and the tears, in a place of warmth and comfort, where there are no days or years. Think how she must be wishing that we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away. And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched, for nothing loved is ever lost- and she was loved so much. author unknown
On the day God took you I thought that I would die I wondered where the time went? I asked alot of whys?? With people all around me I felt alone inside From all their words of comfort, I couldn't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming That I'd wake and find you here, I thought "This can't be happening." As I wiped another tear. On the day that you were laid to rest My heart broke yet again, I wondered if the pain would end, But mostly, I wondered when?? It's hard to be without you, At times the days seem long, Sometimes I just sit crying, When there's really nothing wrong. I wish we'd had more time, Before your life was done. I hope your resting peacefully, My precious one
Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face
My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her but I'm watching her just the same. And I hear each tear fall on her face at the very mention of my name. She says it sounds like music to her ears and can be heard over a crowd. Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face when my name is said aloud. I watch her stumble through each day as she wishes the day would end. And I hear each tear fall on her face as she talks of me to her friends. But there are few who truly understand. Oh this I've heard her proclaim. And I hear each tear fall on her face. Will my Mom ever be the same? I know that her smile lights up a sky. But I don't see that smile today. Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face. Her blue skies have turned to gray. Oh I send to her my warmest hug with the rays of the morning sun. Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face. For I shall erase them one by one. Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her. But I'm watching her just the same. And if I hear a tear fall on her face I'll just softly whisper her name!
I Still Feel Your Love
I know you’re gone from this earth You left me way too soon But I feel your love every time I gaze up at the moon. Sometimes I think I hear A whisper in the wind It sounds as if you’ve called my name As your love to me you send. Sometimes I do a silly thing And your laughter fills my ears I know you’re right here with me But I can’t see you through my tears. I felt your hand upon my shoulder And I quickly turned to see Visible... you were not But I know you’re here with me. In the night you sometime come To visit in my dreams My hands go out to touch you But you’re just out of reach it seems. For just a flash you appear Standing close to me Is it just my imagination Or is it really you I see. Even though you’re gone from me And you watch me from above I long for you everyday… And I still feel your love.
Written by an Unknown Author
I’m Everywhere
Please don’t mourn for me I’m still here, though you don’t see I’m right by your side each night and day And within your heart I long to stay My body is gone but I’m always near I’m everything you feel, see or hear My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart As long as you keep me alive in your heart I’ll never wander out of your sight I’m the brightest star on a summer night I’ll never be beyond your reach I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes around And the pure white snow that blankets the ground I’m the beautiful flowers of which you’re so fond The clear cool water in a quiet pond I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in spring The first warm raindrop that April will bring I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine And you’ll see that the face in the moon is mine When you start thinking there’s no one to love you You can talk to me through the Lord above you I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees And you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze I’m the hot salty tears that flow when you weep And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face Just look for me, I’m everyplace...
Losing a child is one of a parents’ greatest Fears We want and expect them to be with us for all our years Our hearts cries out for the hurt is more than we can bear The Lord knows the hurt and your sorrow he will share....
If I Knew
If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly And pray the Lord your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time That I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss And call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, So I could play them back day after day. If I only knew!!
To the living I am gone To the sorrowful, I will never return, To the angry I was cheated. But to the happy, I am at peace. And to the faithful, I have never left. I cannot speak, but I can listen. I cannot be seen, but I can be heard. So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea, Remember Me.... Remember Me in Your heart, in your thoughts, And the memories of the times we loved, The times we shared, the times we laughed, The times we sang. For if you always think of Me, I will have never gone....
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die I wondered where the time went? I asked a lot of why?? with people all around me I felt alone inside from all their words of confort, I could't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming that I'd wake and find you here, I thought "this can't be happening". as I wiped another tear. On the day that you were laid to rest my heart broke yet again. I wondered if the pain will end, but mostly, I wondered when?? I's hard to be without you, at times the day seems long, sometimes I just sit crying when there is nothing wrong. I wish I had more time before your life was done, I hope your resting peacefully. My precious one.
The special bond of Mother and Child is written with Love on their hearts and souls and makes them a part of each other forever.
A thousand words can not bring you back I know because I've tried and neither can a million tears I know because I have cried
If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today, While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say. I know how much you love me…as much as I love you, And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, And said my place was ready in heaven far above, And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love. But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die. I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday just even for a while, I’d say good-bye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized that this could never be, For emptiness and memories would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly thing I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven’s gates I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled and at me from His great golden throne, He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you..
My Daughter's Cynthia's Murder
I wanted to start by how my daughter was murdered, first of all my daughter is Cynthia Tammy Hernandez, she was 20 yrs old when she was murdered. We were best friends and she was the type of person that was always worried about me. If I took to long somewhere she would worry and I know true love because of her. Our bond together was so close that at times when she would go out and I would worry about her all I had to do was think really hard about her and the phone would ring and it would be her, she would ask me "mom" are you thinking about me because I can feel it, and yes I would be. That terrible night on June 11, 1999, that's the only time I didn't stay up for her, I fell asleep and I never did that before. When I woke up in the morning I went to her room where she shared a room with her sister Samamtha, I opened the door and asked Samantha if Cynthia was their and she shook her head and said no. I wasn't worried because Cynthia sometimes would stay over night at a friends. That day which was a Friday, we went shopping, Samantha, Cynthia & myself, I remember buying Cynthia a white little skirt and then buying Samantha a few things too. Then we went to have our nails done, I mean my nails because Cynthia was going to work on Monday and didn't want her nails done because she would mess them up anyway because of work, so she just had a pedicure. We laughed and had fun all three of us. When we got home it was around 1:00 p.m. and she was getting ready to go to her boyfriends house. The one she only knew for such a short time, one and a half months. I watched as she got ready, she would look up from putting on her makeup and would smile at me, not knowing that it would be my last time to ever see her do that. Well my ex-husband, her dad came by and picked her up around 4:00 or 5:00 I don't really remember and I had already going to my room and was watching television, when Cynthia passed and she just said bye mom. I regret I didn't even get up to say bye to her. I just shouted be careful. The next morning as I was telling you, I left with my sister after I had checked to see if Cynthia was home and we went to the Swapmeet. We were their but a half hour when they called our names through the loudspeaker and asked us to go to the office, as we walked toward the office I had this terrible feeling and I told my sister, "it's Cynthia", and she asked why I had said that, I told her I didn't know and when we got to the office, it was about my daughter Cynthia. when they handed me the phone I couldn't even speak, so I gave the phone to my sister, she spoke and found out that my daughter had been shot and had passed away the night before. From that moment on I went into shock and don't remember too much. My life has changed forever and will never be the same. I retired from my job where I had been employed for 22 yrs, I couldn't function at work any longer, I went back to my job after 19 months off on disability and lasted working for 4 more years because I need to work, I still have my other daughter Samantha and a son Phillip. It was so hard to stay working, I will never to through that type of pain as I did as long as I live. When my daughter died I don't even know how I have made it this long without her. She was my youngest, and she was my life. The guy who murdered her was just someone she had met and was only going with him for such a short time. I have all of her shoes, personal things that I will never get rid of or give to anyone, except maybe her sister. He received a sentence of 19 to life, not enough for someone who destroyed my daughter's life and my life. Even at work people were not very senstive to someone who lost a child, unless you go through it yourself, you will never know. What I have learned is that people are not the way I thought they wold ve when someone's child is murdered, they are not senstive and caring, unless it happens to you. I took my children to church when they were younger and taught them to be polite and caring to other's. They were never rude to anyone, after my daughter's was murdered, I thought why did I teach them to be so kind, maybe that's what got her murdered, and yes she did know the Lord. They were brought up loving and living for Jesus. My health is not as strong as it use to be, I can tell I don't have the same kind of life that I had before my Cynthia wqs murdered. I don't know what it feels like to live a normal life, because I never will again. I feel like I just exsit and go into slow motion everyday. I will never be happy without her. This is just a little of what I want to share right now. It's very difficult to even think of Cynthia not being here, much less writing about what happen to her. She was a good girl, she was murdered at 20 would have been 21 just a month later. She was so excited to be turning 21, she was going to go to Las Vegas with her friends and she never went. She never went anywhere else but to heaven where God wanted her to be. To lose someone as dear, unique, sweet, special and loyal as Cynthia is a tragedy and cannot be explained by us here on Earth. The thought of losing her is beyond words, and yet when you "feel" that she is near, it is comfort. Her radiant smile and funny personality will surely be missed, but is being celebrated in Heaven. Thank you and God Bless you...R.I.P. Cynthia's Mom LaRaine.
~I WANT YOU TO KNOW~
A brief moment of darkness was all that I know before Heaven's Gate came in to view Loved ones and friends, I had missed for years welcomed me Home with open arms and many happy tears All the Hurt, Fear, and Pain that I have ever Known is gone from my life I am finally Home I gazed upon the Lord's sweet smiling face, and for the first time in my life all that I felt was grace. I know that you miss me, but please dry your eyes. I will always be watching and Loving you from my Home in the sky A cool breeze on your face, a touch of light rain, I will send as a reminder that we will be reunited again. Life on earth is but one brief moment in time I am finally Home and Eternity is mine.
Author Unknown
~~To our beautiful daughter Cynthia~~
We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly In death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for a part of us went with you, the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always at our side. our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, "THE CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN"
To My beautiful Daughter Cynthia We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly In death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for a part of us went with you, the day God
Sending 4th of July Wishes to you! / Angela -. Daughter To Angel Linda Taylor
Thinking of your sweet Cynthia this Memorial Day.. / Angela -. Daughter To Angel Linda Taylor
to a angel for st pat day / Anna Bento Cousin Of Angel Carlos. F. (Friend)
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY IN HEAVEN MY ANGEL YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS EVERY DAY . STAY CLOSE TO YOUR FAMILY. THE ONES WE LOVE WE NEVER FORGET IT STAYS IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER.MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS.
To a special angel / Anna Bento (FRIEND)
Happy Valentine's Day! / Wm. Scott &. Samantha Myers
A Valentine For Precious Cynthia! / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )Read >>
WHAT A BIRTHDAY WITHOUT YOU CYNTHIA!! I CAN'T BE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU, THAT MURDERER TOOK AWAY MY LIFE AS WELL AS YOURS WHEN HE SHOT YOU. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING FEELING SO UNHAPPY THINKING I KNOW TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY, EVEN IF IT'S FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO WOULD LIKE ME TO BE HAPPY ESPECIALLY TODAY. I'M SCREAMING INSIDE OF ME BECAUSE I FEEL SO LONLEY WITHOUT YOU, CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW HARD TRYING TO BE HAPPY CAN BE...I'M GOING TO CELEBRATE TODAY JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE THIS DAY AND THINKING OF THE UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY FOR YOU AND YOUR BIRTHDAY. WHY???? DO I HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU, I THINK I CAN'T MAKE IT ANOTHER DAY, AND THEN I WAKE UP AND START IT ALL OVER AGAIN THE TEARS, MISSING YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN IT FEELS LIKE A DREAM THAT I CAN NOT WAKE UP FROM..NEVER A MOMENT THAT MY MIND IS AT PEACE. WHY I ASK GOD WHY DID YOU TAKE MY DAUGHTER???? THEIR IS NEVER AND ANSWER BUT A STILL QUIET VOICE WITHIN ME TELLING ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT ONE DAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU "MOM" I LOVE YOU...IS WHAT I HAVE TO THINK THAT CYTHIA IS TELLING ME AND WITH THAT I WILL SURVIVE UNTIL I SEE MY BABYGIRL AGAIN!
WHAT I WROTE FOR MY CYNTHIA ON HER 8TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY
LIFE WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER CYNTHIA
IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU CYNTHIA, EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART, MY HEART BREAKS EVERY SINGLE DAY KNOWING THAT YOU JUST DIDN’T LEAVE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BUT BECAUSE YOU MET SOMEONE THAT DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THE TERRIBLE THING HE WAS ABOUT TO DO AND THAT WAS TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AND YOUR FAMILY. I MISS YOU MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY, IT BROKE MY HEART TO LOSE YOU CYNTHIA BUT YOU DID NOT GO ALONE FOR PART OF ME WENT WITH YOU THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME. SOMEDAY HE WILL CALL ME HOME ALSO CYNTHIA AND THAT WILL BE THE MOST HAPPIEST DAY WHEN I CAN SEE YOU ONCE AGAIN. YOU LEFT ME MUCH TO SOON, I DIDN’T GET TO ENJOY YOUR WEDDING, YOUR CHILDREN YOUR LOVE. EVEN AFTER 8 YRS MY LIFE IS STILL IN SHAMBLES IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT IN MY HEART TO HAVE LOST SUCH A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. YOU KNOW YOU WERE THE SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE AND WHEN YOU USE TO CALL ME “MOM” THAT WAS A JOY TO MY HEART. I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CYNTHIA, DON’T THINK I HAVE GONE ON WITH MY LIFE BECAUSE I HAVEN’T, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...YOU KNEW ME TOO WELL TO KNOW HOW I REALLY AM CYNTHIA. I CAN STILL HEAR YOU SAY “MOM” DON’T GO I DIDN’T GO FAR BUT NOW YOU HAVE GONE REALLY FAR, BUT IT WILL NEVER BE FAR FROM ME. WHEN GOD CALLED YOU HOME IN AWAY HE ALSO CALLED ME AND EVEN THOUGH I’M STILL HERE ON THIS EARTH, MY HEART IS TRULY IN HEAVEN WITH YOU. GOD KNOWS WHY I’M STILL HERE, I CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT IN MY OWN MIND BUT GOD NEVER MAKES MISTAKES. IN HIS TIME I WILL GLADLY GO WITH HIM TO BE CLOSE TO YOU AND NOW MOM, HOPE YOU STAY CLOSE TO GRANDMA CYNTHIA, I MISS HER SO MUCH ALSO, WHEN I FEEL SO ALONE I JUST WANT TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL MOM JUST HOW MUCH I’M HURTING BUT INSTEAD I PRAY TO GOD THAT HE WILL HELP ME THROUGH ALL OF THIS PAIN THAT I’M GOING THROUGH. JUSTICE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE ONE WHO TOOK YOU FROM THIS WORLD AND FROM MY HEART. HE WILL SOMEDAY GO BEFORE THE LORD AND TELL HIM WHY HE TOOK YOU FROM US, UNTIL THEN I WILL JUST KEEP GOING ONE DAY AT A TIME AND LIVE LIKE IT IS MY LAST DAY. WITH MY LOVE FOR YOU CYNTHIA A LOVE THAT WILL NEVER END. SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS ONE DAY.
YOUR MOM FOREVER UNTIL I SEE YOU!!
MY BABYGIRL CYNTHIA
My life has changed forever and will never be the same I retired from my job because I couldn't function anymore, I went back to my job after 19 months off on disability and lasted working for 4 more yrs because I needed to work, I still have my other daughter Samantha and a son Phillip. It was so hard to stay working. I will never go through that type of pain I did as long as I live. When my daughter died I don't even know how I have made it this long without her. She was my youngest, and she was my life. The guy who murdered her was just someone she had met and was only going with him for such a short time. I have all of her shoes, personal things that I will never get rid of or give to anyone, except maybe her sister. He receive a sentence of 19 to life, not enough for someone who destroyed my daughter’s life and my life. Even at work people were not very senstive to someone who lost a child unless they have gone through the same type of loss. WhatIhave learned is that people are not the way I thought they would be when someone child is murdered, they are not senstive and caring. I took my children to church when they were younger and taught them to be polite and caring to other's. They were never rude to anyone, after my daughter was murdered, I thought why did I teach her to be so kind, maybe that's what got her murdered..and yes she did know the Lord. They were brought up loving and living for Jesus. My health isn't as strong as it use to be, I can tell I don't have the same kind of life that I had before Cynthia was murdered. I don't know what it feels to live a normal life, because I never will again. I feel like I just exsit and go into slow motion everyday. I will never be happy without her. This is just a little of what I want to share right now.She was a good girl, she was murdered at 20 would have been 21 just a month later...she was so excited to be turning 21, she was going to go to Las Vegas with friends and she never went...She never went anywhere else but to heaven where God wanted her to be…Thank you and God bless you…R.I.P. Cynthia’s Mom LaRaine…
JUNE 11, 1999-7 YRS WITHOUT CYNTHIA
TODAY WAS A VERY DIFFICULT DAY FOR ME, IT HAS BEEN 7 YRS THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS MURDERED. I CAN'T EXPLAIN THE PAIN THAT I'M FEELING BECAUSE IT IS SO DEEP THAT IT CANNOT BE EXPLAINED. I JUST KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I HAVE SEEN MY DAUGHTER. I WENT TO THE CEMENTARY TODAY WITH MY DAUGHTER SAMANTHA AND SISTER DIANA. WE TOOK SOME BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS AND WHITE BALLOONS, IT WAS SO SAD TO LET THE BALLOONS GO AND SEE THEM GO UP UP INTO THE SKY AND WATCH AS THEY FADED AWAY AND HOPE THAT CYNTHIA WOULD SOMEHOW CATCH THEM TO SHOW HER HOW MUCH SHE IS MISSED AND LOVED. I COULDN'T KEEP THE TEARS FROM FALLING, BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF NOT HAVING CYNTHIA WITH ME WAS TOO UNBEARABLE THAT I COULDN'T BE STRONG ANY LONGER. EVERY YEAR IT GETS HARDER NOT TO HAVE CYNTHIA HERE, ENJOYING HER AND SEEING HER BE HAPPY. I MISSED ALL OF HER TOMORROW'S BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO HAVE A GUN AND KILL HER, UNFAIR TO TAKE AWAY A CHILD FROM A MOTHER, THE CRUELEST THING ANYONE COULD EVER DO. WILL FOREVER LOVE AND MISS YOU CYNTHIA....LOVE YOU MOM~~
BEAUTIFUL POEM FOR CYNTHIA
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free! I'm following the path God laid for me. I took His hand when I heard him call, I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day, To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone, must stay that way, I found peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void, Then fill it with remembered joy! A love shared, a laugh, a kiss, Ah yes! These things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I've savoured much Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief, Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me, God wanted me now, he set me free